2009 was a year of great transformation and freedom for me. I was making good money and I was able to live on my own and provide my daughter with everything she needed and wanted. Of course I had some financial worries because I had recently separated from my ex-husband and had legal bills to go along with my other monthly bills. But, I really wasn't hurting for much. I didn't realize just how much I had until it was gone.
Fast forward eighteen months later. My office shut it's doors and myself along with thirty others were out of a job. Fortunately, unlike many people losing their jobs in the past few years, we all had a heads up ten weeks prior. That gave me some time to think about things and I made the decision to take my severance and go back to school. I definitely made the right decision because now I have a degree and that is invaluable. But, I had no idea the small things I had taken for granted while I did have a good paying job.
When money was good, I freaked out if my checking account dipped below $300. I had a little money saved. My bills were paid on time every month. I possessed three credit cards with fairly high limits and any time the balance got a little too high, I paid it off with one or two paychecks. If I wanted those Nine West shoes, I could buy them. If I saw a cute outfit for Amber, I bought it. If I wanted to take her on pretty much any kind of outing, we went. If my friends wanted me to go out, I did. I'm not saying that I was able to be a spendthrift. I still had to watch it and stuck to a monthly budget. But if I wanted to splurge some, I could do it.
After I lost my job, ran out of severance, and maxed out my credit cards, there were many points that I realized just how much I had taken for granted. Many of those points involved sitting at home alone all weekend because I couldn't afford the gas to go anywhere except maybe to church. I took the bus a few times. I walked away in embarassment the first couple of times my debit card was declined for various very small purchases such as coffee or a few items at The Dollar Tree. Eventually I just learned to laugh at it. One time I had just checked my account before going into Target to make sure I had enough money to get some groceries. I had $63.00 in my account and I was getting paid in three days. So I added everything by the calculator as I shopped and kept it under $50.00. When I ran my debit card through at the checkout, it declined. So I asked the cashier to remove a few items and it declined again. My daughter was particularly antsy this day and was causing a scene in the process. I removed a few more items - declined again. The woman behind me in line rolled her eyes and turned to the lady behind her and very loudly said, "Some people just don't know how to manage their money." Judging by her $200 track suit (nothing says let's get fit like Prada!) and her botox filled face, I'm guessing this woman was from Weddington and never worked a day in her life. She shopped and frequently had her face injected while the kids were in school and her husband made $200K plus annually. In extreme embarassment, I asked the cashier to cancel my sale, abandoned my purchases, and walked away with my child crying and asking why I left our food. Luckily, I still had plenty at home to sustain us until my next check. I vowed that day that whenever I got myself together again financially, I would help someone who was in this position.
I am blessed beyond belief now that I have graduated, I am working, and starting an even better job very soon. I am still having to budget more than I did before. But, things are definitely more manageable. And now that I am starting a new venture with a lot of opportunity, I know things are only going to get better. A lot of you have been in the same boat in the past few years. Maybe you lost your job in 2008 when the market crashed and have been working again now for a while. Maybe you are working for way less than you used to, but are still doing better than you were without a job. Maybe you more recently lost your job and still haven't found something. But rest assured, you will! If you've been one of the many 12% unemployed over the last three to four years, don't forget what it was like. And remember these lessons: Live like you make way less than you do. Save, save, save. Help other people who are unemployed find work. Refer them. Encourage them. And when you see someone struggling, have some empathy for them. If you feel the urge to help, do it. I know one thing's for sure. I cannot wait until the next time I am in line behind a mom at the grocery store whose debit card declines.
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